3 Goal Setting Myths + Truths

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It's that time again when no one eats cake anymore because they are all on a diet for the new year. My head spins from the conversations about what people are giving up, losing, or finally going to change this year.

Today, I chose three myths to tackle with a mindset shift for each.


MYTH

This dream is too big, "I can't do that, it's reaching too high". Conversely, there's also a pervasive fear of playing too small, "I really want this, but am afraid it's not big or important enough."


TRUTH

There is a myth in the air that goal setting is only for HUGE plans. If you're not aiming for a million dollars or to change the world, then you shouldn't even get out of bed, let alone set a goal. Relax people! The point isn't to be as big as Oprah or Tony Robbins...tomorrow. Goal setting is about clarifying what your personal best life looks like, so that you can move forward with purpose. Being your best self and living a life that brings you joy does serve the world! The ripple effects are huge.

I know that I have been inspired most in my life by people who are living their truth on purpose. Quietly, consistently, joyfully staying in their truth. Yes, I am inspired by the huge world-changing goals such as the purpose of Rachel Hollis motivating women around the country Tony Robbins-style.

But I am also inspired by a friend, who is environmentally-focused, to switch to cloth napkins and ditch paper at home. Her goal wasn't to change the world - her goal was to reduce paper waste in her home. And that inspired me to do the same.

Your dream is your dream. Your goals are your own. They are not up for judgement and there is no comparison. Be who you are, love what you love, and stay true to your path. You may never know how far your ripple goes.

MYTH

I'll set this New Year's resolution to fix that thing that I hate about myself or my life.


TRUTH

New Year's resolutions like "lose 40 lbs" or "get out of debt" may sound like things you want, but I have to tell you, it's like running a marathon -- backwards. When you are running (or even driving for that matter), you move towards the place you are looking. It has been said that if you're in the lead, the fastest way to lose a race is to look behind you. Where you are looking, where your eyes are focused, is where you will go. So it stands to reason that the weight or the debt are things you want to leave behind, right?

Where do you want to go? What are you moving towards? Keep your eyes on the positive end result that you want. Flip the script.

Lose 40 lbs becomes: Feel good in my body by moving and exercising three times per week. Play outdoor games with my children. Find a menu plan that works with my schedule that's full of delicious, healthy food that fuels my body.

Get out of debt becomes: Take a financial literacy class. Create a budget that allows me to feel confident and aligned in my spending and saving habits. Work with a financial planner to be able to send my kids to college with ease.

You are not bad. There's nothing 'wrong' with you that you need to fix with a New Year's resolution. You'll be amazed at how fast things change and how good you feel when you focus on something that lifts you up.


MYTH

I tried setting goals but I have failed to reach them. I will fail again and feel bad, so I don't set goals or resolutions anymore.


TRUTH

Is a dollar bill worth anything less than a dollar if you tell it repeatedly that it's not worth that much? If you disparage that dollar bill enough, will it lose value? If you hand it to someone behind a register will they look at you and say, "I'm sorry, this dollar bill is worthless and you should throw it away. Do you have another more accomplished dollar bill in your wallet?” Nope, not gonna happen. The same is true of you.

Setting goals is not a pass/fail binary! Allow yourself the grace to say, “I tried getting there one way and something about that didn't work, perhaps I can find a way that will”. Goal setting can be incredibly empowering, even if you don't get it right on the first try. Switch up the word failed for the word learned. It's a great way to flip the script in your own head regarding goal setting or anything else in your life for that matter.


I have so many more radical and fun ideas about goal setting and achieving your purpose in a new way and I'll be sharing a few of them when I take over the @GirlSesh Instagram on Thursday, January 17th.

I'll also be sharing my full goal setting practice at the Visual Goal Setting workshop on January 24, 2019, 9 AM - 12 PM at The Creative Chateau and I hope you’ll join me! Ticket information can be found here.

Alignment, focus, and envisioning your ideal future with a group of like-minded, goal-oriented women in a historic Parisian-style apartment in Houston surrounded by creativity and art supplies, led by a visual artist. Can you think of a better way to spend a morning?

16 Proven Ways to Regain Your Creativity

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We've all been there.  Staring at the computer.  Braindead.  Feeling the pressure.   Even if being creative isn't your job.  Even if you don't consider yourself a creative person [which is insane because everyone is creative in their own way].  Everyone has to create at some point in their lives.  Most of the time, there's a deadline on it too whether it is from your work, your family, or simply an expectation you've placed on yourself.  Getting things done, productivity - these are important values in our society.  And I admit, they are extremely important to me too. 

So what to do when you're just not feeling it?  The ideas aren't flowing.  You're starting to get anxious.  The tightness in your chest or the pit in your stomach [or both] are starting to form.  "But it has to be done by  [insert date and time].  Where are all the ideas I had this morning??  Are they ever going to come back to me???"

Seriously, if I had a nickel for every time those phrases ran through my head, I'd have enough to buy a...uh, err, something really expensive.  See, we all hit that creative wall at some point.  And when you do, step away from the computer.  For real.  Put that thing away!  Because the last thing you need is to be staring at all the other creative work out there.  Your creativity will not come from Pinterest or Instagram.  So just flip it the bird and shut it down.  

So then what?  What will help?  Any of the ideas from this list of 16, that's what.  Notice I said proven in the title.  These are all things I specifically do when I'm feeling void of creativity and they've actually helped.  They are in no special order.  Choose one at random and give it a go.  You've got nothing to lose! 

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1.  Listen to music.

 

2.  Workout, go for a run or go for a walk. 

Moving your body helps to clear your mind of stress and anxiety while allowing your creative thoughts to flow.  I've realized this one is pretty critical to my creative (and overall) sanity.

 

3.  Take a shower or a bath.

I have no idea why, but showering has this calming effect on my mind and body and I unintentionally become an idea machine.  I always keep pen and paper outside the door because I will inevitably come up with something that needs to be written down.

 

4.  Join in on a Sesh Coworking event.

You don't even have to talk about specific projects you are working on.  Simply chatting over coffee or asking what other women are currently working on can be inspiration enough.  Even just being surrounded by other empowered working women can have an enormous effect on your creative spirit.  Check out our Events page for our next coworking sesh!

 

5.  Carry an idea notebook. 

Or dedicate an idea page on the notes app of your phone. You never know when an interesting idea will pop up.  Having a place to quickly write it down will not only allow you to remember it, but will also train your brain to acknowledge these ideas no matter where you are and no matter how crazy you inner voice says they are.

 

6.  Redecorate or reorganize your space.  

Giving your area a facelift refreshes your environment and your spirit.  

 

7.  Take a nap.

Even just a short 15 or 20 minute rest can quiet a rambling mind.

 

8.  Switch to a different project.

Oh, your inner critic will scream at you for this one for sure.  "Why are you working on that??  It doesn't need to be done until (insert date and time which feels super faraway)!  The other is more important!!!!".  

Well, maybe so, but if you attempt to stay with the stonewalled project, it's pretty much a fact that you aren't going to get anywhere.  If that's the case, then you might as well get somewhere with a different project.  It'll make you feel more productive and may get those creative juices flowing enough for you to return to your original project.

 

9.  Do yoga.

 

10.  Try a new medium or form of art purely for fun.

 

11.  Do laundry or clean.  

Sometimes this works for me and I HATE to clean.  As long as it's a mind-numbing task, it'll help.  

 

12.  Go to a restaurant for a meal or coffee.

I always enjoy a good people-watching session (I'm not a creeper - I prefer to be called an observer of life).  Plus, someone else makes your food.  Win, win.

 

13.  Identify your most productive times.

...and work with them rather than against.

 

14.  Visit a museum, park or nature trail.

 

15.  Host a craft night with your friends.  

This is a fun one!  Decide on something generic to make, gather your random supplies and have your friends bring theirs.  It's fun to hang out with friends and create, plus you can be inspired by their work as well.

 

16.  Trust that it will come back. 

And it will; I promise.  By trusting in the creative process, you release the stress and make room for the good.


Your creative brain can't be expected to perform at 100% all the time.  Picture it as a muscle that needs to be flexed regularly, worked regularly and rested often.  The more you work the creative muscle, the better it will perform when needed and the quicker it will bounce back when you're having an off-day.    

Have you ever hit that creative wall?  What other things have you done to pull yourself out of the rut?

I Go to Dinner Alone... and You Should Too.

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Working from home has many benefits.  From sitting at the computer in your pj's to running a flexible schedule that allows you to get to your daughter's soccer game, more and more women are seeing and experiencing the benefits as they shift into a work-from-home lifestyle.  

Despite all the benefits however, working from home can leave you feeling trapped and lonely with little physical or mental space to relax.  This is especially true if you juggle your work with motherhood or have lovable yet nosey pets literally pawing their way into your work day.  Times like these can leave you feeling depleted and with the blurred lines between home and work, can leave you feeling unsure of where to turn for solace. 

When your home is no longer your calm and relaxing escape, what do you do?

The answer: go to dinner alone.

I was surprised to learn that many women do not feel comfortable going out to eat alone.  They have their reasons and they are valid.  I am here today however, to prove that eating dinner by yourself has rejuvenating properties that out shine the fears of being alone in public.  

1.  You can daydream.

Really daydream, like when your were a kid.  No to-do lists or responsibilities running through your head.  Just sweet beautiful images of whatever makes you feel happy - for the sake of none other than feeling...well, happy. 

 

2.  You feel like an adult who is in control of their own time.

Isn't it funny how the older we get, we feel like we have less and less control of our own day?  We feel trapped by deadlines, client responsibilities, domestic chores, family obligations.  But at dinner alone...?  You decide when to order, what to order and when to leave.  Call me a control freak, but there is something to be said for having the freedom to make your own choices.

 

3.  You can breathe freely.

Have you ever paid attention to your breathing when you have a tight deadline or a screaming child in your face?  It's not good.  Every yogi master in the world is cringing just imagining it.

 

4.  You can actually taste your food.  

I believe that being a modern day empowered woman inherently teaches you to scarf your food in 1 minute flat.  We're constantly doing it all, except slowing down.  You never know when you'll need to jump up for the next kid meltdown or business emergency.  But wouldn't it be nice to actually savor your food?  Studies show that savoring your food promotes a stronger metabolism,  a better focus on moderation and an overall more enjoyable eating experience.  

 

5.  Someone is waiting on YOU! 

Ok, I'm just going to say that again.  SOMEONE IS WAITING ON YOU. 

 

6.  You are eating food you didn't have to cook.

I really, really love to cook, but even I get sick of being the sole producer of hot, cooked food in this house even when I'm just cooking for myself.  Taking a break from the stove lets you enjoy your meal as the nice break that it is.

 

7.  No sharing.

Whether it's your toddler, dog, cat or even your partner, someone is always after your food.  I'm never one for violence, but sometimes I just want to smack that hand (or paw) away.  When you go to dinner alone, I highly doubt the server's going to ask you for bite.  

 

8.  You have personal space.

Put me in a crowded tiny cafe in the Houston Heights at a little 1 person bistro table and I guarantee you I will still have more space than I do at home.

 

9.  You can reconnect with yourself.

In a world where we women give and give and give, its nice to put some thought into ourselves for a bit.  We are, whether intentionally or unintentionally, get at putting others' needs before our own.  Use this time over dinner to assess what you need.  You may be surprised what your inner voice has to say when you're willing to listen.

 

10.  You can get ahead on your work...or not.

Get ahead on that nagging task while you enjoy a glass of wine...or maybe just enjoy the wine.  The point is when you go to dinner alone, you get to decide.